Jaci Rae Relationship Article

July 2005 Issue --> Relationship Article

Getting Onto the Field - Shedding a Little Light on the Complex World of Male - Female Relationships: Why We Are the Way We Are

By: Jaci Rae

So you’ve made it into the Football Stadium of Love and you are now stepping onto the playing field for your first day of practice with the Dallas Cowboys. Nervous excitement courses through your veins as the coach talks about the various exercises he is going to run the team through and begins to discuss the different plays and strategies he will be using during this season’s games.

A team’s language (the “plays” and “plans”) will guide you in how to respond to your teammates on the playing field. Each “play” and “plan” has been specially formulated through years of research and scientific study, producing entire systems of proven techniques that can make winners out of the players and teams.

This process is much the same as that of the “plays” and “plans” of a relationship. You need to read the manual, learn from those who are already where you want to be in their relationships and listen actively to your partner in order to learn how to speak their language. Once you learn this language, you can enter the winning part of the game and make a run for victory!

A woman’s way of viewing and speaking about relationships may seem very complicated, and sometimes annoying at first. You may find particular things in her language syntax that are hard to understand and certainly difficult to interpret! And as if that weren’t enough, many women have a tendency to turn over and over in their heads most of what is said to them, finding more than what may actually be there.

While men tend to go with the flow without over-analyzing things, women try to find out what’s behind the words they see and hear when dealing with their loved ones. This process is intuitively part of their naturally protective circuitry, helping them emotionally guard themselves and their loved ones. Have you ever heard the statement, “You don’t want to mess with Mother Bear?”

This applies here because women are built as nurturers and maintain a natural curiosity about their environment in order to help them protect themselves and those they love from perceived dangers. This natural curiosity triggers what I like to call the “need to know” gene.

Women have the “need to know” or to discover all the “information” about their surroundings and then make judgment calls as to any dangers that may affect those they love. This, of course, can lead to any number of natural responses to the perceived dangers of their surroundings and an inherent desire to analyze all causes and effects.

Because curiosity (analyzing) is a natural response for women, it tends to bleed over into other areas of their lives, namely their relationships. Are you beginning to understand the playing field a little bit more? Our environment has a great deal to do with how we relate and react to each other as well as how we communicate with other people. Another huge factor in our character make-up is the individual chemistry that everyone is born with.

The facts show that men and women are conceived equally in terms of their overall intelligence. However, somewhere between the twelfth and fourteenth weeks of pregnancy, there is a testosterone wash that flows over the brain of a male baby. This wash does not take place during the formation of a female baby. It is believed that during the testosterone wash, a balance between the L cells and the R cells are set, determining how spatially aware a person is, with men being born more spatially aware and women more temporally aware.

As men are generally more spatially aware, they tend to be better at judging distances, which comes in handy during parallel parking! Women have more temporal awareness, which may explain why women generally have an easier time associating time and events.

You know that little thing that really bothers men about women - she remembers everything she thinks you have done wrong and when you did it! Because of the testosterone wash, men tend to be more “left-brain” oriented and women rely more readily on the “right-brain.”

“Left-brain” individuals tend to be more interested in facts, inclined to logic and reason. They are more motivated in providing for the home and usually more interested in becoming engineers, mathematicians and scientist. These are just a few career choices that a “left-brain” individual might make.

A “right-brain” individual tends to be better at, and more interested in, developing relationships and dealing with emotional issues. They are more inclined to emotions and passions and are generally more motivated by investing in the relationships of the home. Their career choices tend to put them in the roles of caregivers or into jobs where they can use their artistic, investigative and research abilities.

The facts stated thus far pertain only to our pre-disposition at birth. Once you step up and onto the playing field, however, you will need to hear exactly what the coach has to say during practice if you want to make it to your first game. One last word from this coach…Love is a decision, it’s NOT a feeling. It’s a gift, NOT a right. Gifts are precious, but often are destroyed. Feelings come and go and if you can fall “in-love” you can certainly fall “out-of-love.”

Jaci Rae is the Nationally Best Selling Author of “Winning Points with the Woman in Your Life One Touchdown at a Time” and “The Ultimate Guide To Music Success” as well as the host of the Jaci Rae show. Jaci has toured throughout the world as an award winning Country Artist, while spreading her pearls of wisdom along the way. www.jacirae.com

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Getting Onto the Field - Shedding a Little Light on the Complex World of Male - Female Relationships: Why We Are the Way We Are by Jaci Rae

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