• Giving comes naturally
• Being considerate and thoughtful is a joy
• Seeing the best in the other is effortless
• Doing things for the other is a treat
• Listening is fun
• Just the thought of the other brings delight
• Gratitude for even small gestures is spontaneous
• Thinking of the other's needs is automatic

1. Notice - We said this at the beginning of this chapter and it's the most importantthing we can do. Become aware that when you get angry, feel frustrated, aredisappointed, depressed, anxious or tense, these are signals from your emotionalbody that there is some emotional wound that needs to be healed. When younotice contraction, have the desire to return to expansion and ask for help.
2. Take time to feel - When we contract, we've been trained to try to find some wayto stop the pain. We want to fix it, make it go away. The truth is, when we feelcontracted, the best thing we can do is take some time to allow the emotions toflow. Be kind to yourself. Take some time by yourself. Feel into your body.Allow yourself to feel the emotional pain and notice where in the body it islodged. Then let your awareness be there. We have found that often we will soband sob as we locate that area of hurt. Or we may feel intense anger or otheremotions from that area of the body. When we allow ourselves to feel that area ofhurt, and allow it expressionŠnot directed at anyone, but just let it out, guesswhat? When the emotions have come out, an amazing peacefulness comes overus. Now, we are ready to step back into expansion.
3. Investigate - No one "makes" us feel contracted. We do that to ourselves. Wehave thoughts that conflict with reality and we contract. Investigate the truth ofthose thoughts and we naturally and effortlessly return to an expanded state. TheWork of Byron Katie™ (www.thework.org) has been of the greatest value for usin investigating the truth of our beliefs. Katie's four simple questions and theturnaround are incredibly profound. As we investigate our false beliefs anddiscover the truth, the world opens up to us. As Katie says, "When we argue withreality, we always lose, and only 100% of the time."
4. Breathing - When we are faced with some danger, we gasp for breath and stopbreathing. When we recognize that we are contracting, then consciously takedeeper breaths. These deeper breaths will help to settle the body and allow us toreturn to an expanded state.
    
   Lastly, don't wait until you've contracted. Begin to live your life so that expansion isyour natural state. For us, this has meant:
    
   
5. Create a platform for peace - For us, the most effective tool we've foundis the Transcendental Meditation™ technique. The TM technique issimple, it's effortless and it can be practiced anywhere (www.tm.org).TM allows the mind to experience the inner state of expansion and then tobegin to live that in our daily lives. The effects of this simple practicehave been profound in our lives. It has been the foundation for theeffectiveness of everything else we've done..
6. Diet - Ever noticed how your moods swing when you eat certain kinds offoods? Our minds and bodies are intimately connected, so to live anexpanded state of life requires a balanced diet, with good organic,wholesome, nutrit ional foods.
7. Rest - "What do you mean I'm cranky!!?" Some say that one hour ofsleep between 9 PM and midnight is worth two hours after midnight. Onething we've experienced for sure is that when we shortchange our sleep,staying expanded just doesn't happen much.
8. Exercise - Don't we love those endorphins? Those wonderful chemicalsare produced when we exercise and contribute in a big way to feelingexpanded. Take time every day to exercise for 20-30 minutes and you'llnotice that you're feeling expanded more and more of the time.
9. Inspirational Reading - When we are awake to it, we discover that we livein a world that is always expanding, that is always filled with love. It isonly our beliefs, our habits, that make us think it is any different. Readingand absorbing material that helps us to see the world through those lovingeyes is one of the ways we can keep ourselves grounded in a life of love.That which is true stands the test of time. For this reason, we have foundit especially helpful to go back to some of the oldest writings about thenature of life and reconnect with that ancient wisdom that inspires us withthe vision of life lived in love.

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